Am I a good mother???

Sleeping like an angel in Momy's heart

Have you ever wondered if you are a good or a bad mother? this questions must be raised by 99.9% of the mothers around the globe, and the fact that you popped the question means that you are a good mother because you care :).

I was trying to figure out if I am a good mother and started asking myself the following questions:

- What is the most important thing in my life?

- With who I'd like to spend my spare time? 

- What is the best memory of my life? 

- How much time do I spend with my kid?

- Do I cook my kids favorite dish? 

- Do I spend my weekends with my kids or I do programs on my own? 

- Do I criticize my kid or get angry when they keep asking questions?

- Do I get angry and upset when my kid mess the house, or I just ask him nicely to help me clean it?

- My kid still sleeps with me in my bed, does this make me a good or a bad mother? 

- Did I chose the right school for my kids?

- Did I chose a good pediatrician?

- Am I teaching them good manners?

- When I plan a trip or an activity for my kids, I do it out of duty or I enjoy being with them?

.....................................................etc

Breakfast with my son

Many questions pop into my head every day, and when I look at the answer I find myself a dedicated and loving mother to an extra ordinary child, well this is not new, every one of you would think the same.

In the busy schedule of our daily life, and the hard economic situation, sometimes we find ourselves overworked, and stressed out by our survival need to work a full time job instead of spending more time with our kids, it is up to us to find those tiny moments of peace and serenity and make our kids feel our presence without stress, it is not their fault to be brought into this world, and it is our responsibility to make them live their childhood to the fullest.

Our trip to Dubai 2011

Family is the most important thing in the world

The inner conflict about motherhood is a very normal feeling, especially Mothers in the Middle East region, who bare almost a full responsibility of raising their kids, but we are lucky to be born and raised here, in a society where we still have great family values and bonds, and it is supportive enough to make us feel secure and surrounded. Be close to your family it is a very great support, your kids will always feel secure and loved when they have a loving surrounding family. I would give a special thanks to my loving family especially my special mother who keep giving and never ask for anything is return, like a candle who melt to lighten the way to others.

Good luck to all the mothers who are doing their best to bring to the society well raised children.

Rima

13 inquiries before delivery!!!

When it comes to choosing a practitioner or a Gynecologist, it is a matter of trust and feeling comfortable, sometimes your Obstetrician have a preference to a certain hospital, where you don't have a choice, but in some cases you have the choice to chose the hospital where you wish to deliver. It is very important that you schedule a meeting with the maternity staff where you will be delivering, and below are some information that you might inquire about to help you gain a clear idea about the process:

1- What is the admission procedure at the hospital? means, what you should do once you are in labor?

2- What paperwork is required before the admission to labor room? and what are the required documents, Insurance cards, ID...etc

3- What is the admission procedure during the day and during the night admission, in case you checked in as an emergency? 

4- What is the protocol for Anesthesia, do the hospital have a specific timing to start an Epidural anesthesia, some hospitals do not start epidural before you reach 4 cms.

5- Meet the nursery staff (nurses who will be taking care of your baby once born)

6- You must inquire if the hospital has a pediatrician on call, or a medical resident always present on spot in case an emergency arises.

7- Do the hospital have a specific neonatal unit to take care of premature or babies with special needs?

8- Check out if the hospital give infant formula or rely on exclusive breastfeeding, and if you need to bring in the formula and milk bottles or they will provide it, the world health organisation recommends exclusive breastfeeding until the age of 2 years old.

9- Ask if you can keep your baby at your room all the time, which is preferable since new born babies are new to this world and they want to feel secure next to their mother.

10- You must also inquire from the maternity staff which items you should bring with you to the hospital once you check in for delivery: these items starts with baby's clothes, diapers, towels...etc, have a checklist done so you won't forget anything, the bag which should go with you to the hospital must be ready starting the 7th months.

11- During delivery, can your husband attend, or a family member? does it apply only to normal delivery or cesarean as well? and if the delivery can be taped or photographed?

12- Can you husband or any of your family members sleep at your room at night?

13- How many nights can you stay for normal delivery and how many for cesarean?

Finally, birth is a very special moment, you can enjoy it if you are well prepared :)

Good luck

Feeling Depressed!!! Ask for a Counselor’s Help

Hello,

My name is Rita.  As a teenager, I migrated to Australia where I studied, worked, got married and became a mother of two beautiful kids.  I studied in different colleges and universities and got qualified in many fields; business, public relations and counseling.

Being a Counselor is a real challenge, especially in a place like Australia where we work with huge diversity of clients who come from different nationalities, customs, traditions, thoughts, religions and beliefs.  Besides being a challenge, it’s a big responsibility too.  As a counselor, it is my job to create a comfortable, safe and confidential environment where clients can voice their concerns, problems and thoughts with their own experiences and personal difficulties.  This environment must provide clients with reassurance, so that they feel comfortable enough to share their private thoughts and feelings with me.  It is also my responsibility to provide my clients with full attention, understanding, empathy, good listening skills and the right advice, in order to encourage a positive rapport and the building of trust between both of us.

Why and When do we need Counseling ?

Sometimes we feel that life is unfair and we go through difficult circumstances.  We become stressed out, desperate and we lose self –confidence.

Counseling is helpful in these circumstances:

·         Dealing with a Crisis

·         Infidelity

·         Anxiety and Stress

·         The Loss of a Family Member

·         Divorce Problems

·         Relationship Concerns; romantic, family, friends

·       Life changes; illness, losing a job…

·       Anger Management

·      Depression

·        Academic Problems

It is very difficult for anyone of us to ask for help, but we must know that asking for help shows strength in our character that we have acknowledged a problem and want to fix it.                                      

Remember that life is a gift from God and we should take advantage of every second in our life, in order to live happy and safe.  So don’t let your problems and concerns stress you out and make your life miserable.  Ask for the help of a counselor.

Finally, there is no greater satisfaction in life than turning a sad face into a smile…

I will be providing free of charge counselling for ArabMoms Followers and members until end of December 2011, you may contact me on the below e-mail:

Email: ritahelou16@hotmail.com

Please, feel free to contact me for Advice.

RITA

Clinic...OR Kitchen? You Chose

Many of us, Mothers, living in the Middle East or maybe around the world, have been wondering everyday if our doctors prescriptions and recommendations are honest and based on scientific evidence or biased by information provided by pharmaceutical companies to boost their sales..... Nowadays, selecting a sincere physician has become a real challenge and concern to many people, what if the concerned patient is a fragile human being, or a sick baby? As a mother I raise these questions everyday:

 - What is the quality of the health service that I am receiving?

 - Where should I go if I needed a medical advice?

 - How can I protect my family from any medical unforgivable mistake?  

The answers are still lost in my head, and not yet found, thank God that when me or my son needed a medical advice it was for simple illness, but I never envied those who badly in need of true medical guidance and support and can't find it.

What about Hippocrates Oath (Click here to read it)? Isn't it about serving people? isn't about helping those in need? isn't about prescribing the right medicine? Do we encounter these practices around us? I keep wondering

I have managed to follow some kind of pattern every time I visit a new Doctor, weather a Family Doctor, a Surgeon or a Pediatrician.
Regarding Pediatricians which I consider one of the most dedicated specialties, and most of them really do it for the love of it, I have worked on some hints that might be able to help you find a good pediatrician especially if you are a new mom. 

First let me give you some tips on choosing the right Pediatrician:

1- If this is your first baby, ask your Gynecologist to refer you to a Pediatrician he/she knows, if you are comfortable with your Gynecologist, most probably his/her recommended Pediatrician will have the same attitude. 

2- Try to meet the Pediatrician before you deliver since after delivery you will not have the time to search.

3- Try to find out if S/he has a sub specialty and what is it, especially if you have inherited medical conditions or special case. 

4- Don't be overtaken by the design of his/her clinic, or how much he charges, this is not a condition for good practice. 

5- Don't be overtaken if her/his clinic is full of patients, this is not necessarily a proof of good practice, it is only a proof that he/she might not be able to take your call when you most need him/her. 

6- A good pediatrician is someone who listen to you, who understands your concern, and I prefer the ones who post their mobile, home and clinic numbers on a prescription to be reached anytime.

7- A good Pediatrician is someone who is always up to date with Medical information. 

8- A good Pediatrician is someone who doesn't make fun of you when you ask silly questions, since if you knew the answer why would you pay him/her to tell you.

9- A good Pediatrician is someone who puts himself in your shoes, and imagine this happening to his kids.

10- A good Pediatrician is always providing scientific based evidence about any procedure, treatment or prescription he makes.

I hope the above was helpful enough, in the next post I will share with you some questions you should ask yourself or the Pediatrician before engaging your kids in any treatment or operation.

Best regards from Beirut,

Rima

Lose weight without dieting??? FUNNN

Hey Moms, I just saw this presentation which might be interesting for those who newly delivered and want to reshape again, it's called NO DIET WEIGHT LOSS :) check it out. Wishing you a great day from Beirut, Rima

Avoid Stress....Get Pregnant

Can stress affect your fertility? Have you ever asked yourself this question? well, while researchers have not yet found a solid link between stress and conception, we have heard many tales about couples undergoing assisted conception treatment being advised to forget about it and live normal in order to get pregnant.

Is it true? it has been observed that over stressed women have less chances to conceive, but the underlying factor is not yet discovered, some studies show a link between stress and conception, claiming that stress reduces ovulation and fertilization by 20%, other studies show that stress does not affect the phenomenon of conception, the conclusion is yet to be confirmed by researchers.

On a separate note, it has been proven that stress can affect your life in many ways, and might lead you to new unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking, bad eating habits, lonely life, physical violence, too much sleep, unproductive at work, lack of motivation...etc, not to mention its effect on your couple life; reducing stress can be helpful and it allows you to lead a normal and healthy life, through a personal experience I have found many ways to reduce stress in my life:

1- Exercise: as a working mother I have many responsibilities, work, home, child, husband..., it was not easy for me to manage my life at the beginning, my husband works long hours, mom is far, and no helper at home, I only figured it out recently when I started jogging in the morning, I drop my son to school in the morning and I go jogging, it is hard to describe the feeling of satisfaction that I have after that, I feel more productive at work, I have a better self image, my relationship with my husband is much better. No matter how tight your schedule is, you can always find an hour to exercise.

2- Do something you are passionate about: it could be cooking, dancing, music learning, language learning, anything that adds value to your life.

3- Connect: by socializing, you listen to other people's stories and believe me, sometimes you find that your problems are tiny compared to others. I believe that every connection brings a value to my life, if it was a good connection I'll learn from it, and if it was a bad connection I'll learn from it.

4- Think and talk positive: your mind is your drive, when you look at the positive side of each situation, you can find peace of mind, I learned to do my best and leave the rest for luck, if it didn't happen the way I want to, there must be a good reason behind that, and it is only up to the future to show the reason. 

Someone once told me: "you draw a path, and the fate draws a path, life is a battle between which path you'll follow".

Learn to talk positive, when you keep mentioning your problems it will become part of your life, you will never be able to forget about it, try to put them behind for a while and when your brain is at full power you will be able to find a solution.

5- Avoid whatever causes you stress: People, situations, try to avoid everything that cause stress, and learn how to deal with it, you can consult a therapist who might help in stress management.

6- Think and act as a woman: women are survivors by nature, I am not being racist, but it is a fact, woman gets pregnant, delivers, take the house and children responsibilities.....you ARE A WOMAN, whatever your problem was, you can ALWAYS find a solution, just don't surrender, your motivation and drive are key to your success. Women are no different then men, they are only better in handling the toughest situations.

To me the above had an impact on my life, I wish it could help you too overcome your stress and eventually lead to healthy lifestyle.

Best regards from Beirut,

Rima